Angels

I never knew what it was like to hold a human hand inside of mine, and I never knew what it was like to feel a human heart beat next to mine. The biggest misconception humans have about us is that we don't make mistakes. They think we don't fall--

Just because we're not human doesn't mean we don't mess up or want what we can't have. Because we do. Believe me, we do.

Weeds

"I hate it when things like that slip through the cracks."

Choice(s)

You would have been three today. You would have had fiercely dark hair and brazen brown eyes. I like to think you would have had my smile and my laugh, too. Your spirit would be free and your soul, transparent. But I took life from the Giver of life.

When I finally meet you, there are two things I ask of you--Will you tell me what you would have been like, and will you forgive me?

Flawless

Sometimes I wish I would have made a better mistake than you.

Fate

As humans, we've been cursed with the ability to ask "why?".
And then there are those of us who just don't give a damn.

For You

I am still defending you.
I am still on your side.
Because God knows they're all against you.

Places

I never thought I'd end up in a stranger's bed at three in the morning, but then again I never thought I'd ever be out of your arms either.

I Never. . .

I never knew someone so vulnerable.
I never felt something so temporary.
I never knew my heart could have such a capacity.
I never thought you were beautiful.
I never knew so many people could care so much.
I never thought she'd be my best friend.
I never knew you wanted so badly to protect me.
I never saw your actions match your words.
I never knew fear in a roundabout way.
I never heard a sound so rich.
I never found a treasure so messy.
I never met someone so beneath me.
I never thought you'd find me.
I never knew at fourteen you could lose it all.
I never felt such a rush, such a height.
I never believed you.
I never really wanted to apologize.
I never thought I'd make-out with your best friend behind your car.
I never saw you smile.
I never saw you with him.
I never doubted you.
I never look at you.
I never thought it could get this deep, this dark.
I never thought there'd be a difference.
I never ask easy questions.
I never left the peanut butter jar out too long.

Catch

The wind found its way to my heart last night and revealed to me your secrets. The wind is not going to stop until you do. Please stop.

Before Fifteen

I wish I was like you. I wish I was pure, and I wish I could keep my shoes clean. But I will always be the freshman girl who entered high school knowing way too many of the football players and the girl who always got her heels stuck in the mud.

Regret

"I wish the last thing I told you had been the truth. . ."

Never-Forever

See-Saw.
Monkey Bars.
Sandbox.
Big Kid Slide.
Teeter-Totter.
Jump-Rope.
Swings.
4-Square.
Tetherball.
Slip 'N Slides.
Zip Line.
Spring riders.
Spin About.
Merry Go Round.

All I'm saying is that I miss life when it was good and innocent.

Trade-Off

If I had been an angel, I would have traded my halo for a human heart. Nothing beats better than when it's broken apart.

Cold Heart

It doesn't surprise me that you found me in the winter and that there was snow surrounding my heart. If you're really the sunshine you claim to be, we'll see how much of this snow melts away. Living in a tundra has never gotten old, but we don't exactly find your kind here.

Same

There is nothing I want more than to break your little glass box, your favorite glass box, your only glass box. You put way too many treasures in your glass box, and you hold them high above your head. I'd have to stand on a loose wooden chair just to reach it, but you've lowered it in hopes that I would treasure the same things, the same people. And I do. But I don't have a glass box--

And this is why I want so badly to break yours.

Spill Canvas

Your bed is full of lies, anger, and hatred. Your closet is full of dust, catechisms, and words that you will never use. Your wardrobe consists of shirts with orthodoxed holes, jeans with indoctrinated tears, and winter coats with the most unruly, morally challenged rips and indecently sewn buttons.

So don't lecture me about the hypocritical zipper on my mini skirt.

Eyelash

I wish you could stop thinking about me.

Until You

I had never been used so eloquently, so well.
I had never seen a grown man cry so many tears.
I had never heard lovers utter so many sighs.
I had never believed in someone so deeply.
I had never screamed so loud, so harsh.
I had never tripped so gracefully.
I had never fallen so hard.
I had never intended to give so much.
I had never intended you to give it back so carelessly.
I had never wanted someone to disappear so quickly.
I had never wanted to run so far, so fast.
I had never cared so fully.
I had never second-guessed so much.
I had never known you to be so rotten, so crude until you decided to become a machine--this robot who could no longer feel or be felt.

You built walls.
You burned bridges.
You climbed high.
You left no trace.
But the desperately sad truth is that I could still feel you. . .

Trouble Me--Decay

Addictions.
Alcoholism.
Affairs.

And you thought AAA was only for roadside assistance.

Change of Time

She is fascinated by the early hours of the morning and how you are faithful to your word. They are one and the same. Never has the daylight brought so much hope.

Natural Disasters

Earthquakes, Hurricanes & Tornadoes.
And then there's you and all the damage you do.
And then there's me and all the healing you promised to bring.

Wake, O Sleeper.

I was what your dreams were made of.
And Ever since you lost me you feel your dreams will never come true.

Just don't call me at 3 a.m. and tell me you started dreaming again.

Shipping & Handling

How is it that your heart is empty and mine is full of pain?
I'd say you got the better end of this deal. . .

And I'd also say you had this planned from the day we started to bargain.

Haunted House

This regret is way too charismatic and freeing. Who could resist?


"I think you're starting
to see my demons, and I
am okay with that.
I'm also okay
with you running away. No
one should ever have
to love an artist
so engulfed, enraged in his
art that he can not
separate real life
from his imagination.
Imagination. . ."

Good, Neither Do I.

Do you remember the way I used to tie your tie before you walked out the door? Good, neither do I.
Do you remember the way we used to dance when they played our song? Good, neither do I.
Do you remember the way we used to swing so high into the air so quickly, so effortlessly? Good, neither do I.

And now it's over.
And I'm done telling lies.
And I guess it's not too safe to say, but I'll say it anyway:

"I remember it all. I remember it all. I remember it all."

Circle, Circle. Dot, Dot.

Circle. Circle.
Dot. Dot.
I'm begging God for a new plot.

Circle. Circle.
Dot. Dot.
He speaks of a new place called Paradise, but until the Light invades this darkness, I'll believe it not.

Circle. Circle.
Dot. Dot.
I figured out why they paved Paradise and put up a parking lot.

Circle. Circle.
Dot. Dot.
It has nothing to do with everything Adam and Eve had that we never got.

Circle. Circle.
Dot. Dot.
It all comes down to the fact that I just want to burn it down, that place we called our spot.

Lonely

Empty walls have friends of their own. They come out to play when no one else is listening. It's a shame that no one else is listening.

Smokey Plans

He doesn't want to learn from experience anymore because experience is a brutal teacher.

Let Me Be

Unfinished.
Unwritten.
Undone.

4:39 PM

I didn't want that minute to change.
I didn't want time to slip away any further.

I didn't want us to change.
I didn't want us to slip away any further.

Multipurpose

You did a lot for me.
You did everything for me.
But I don't like being used, and I don't like being hung up to dry with the rest of your laundry.

Spill

When you care about someone, you don't do something intimate and binding with someone else. I hope your regret plagues you 'til the day you die because I'm sure as Hell not sticking around for it.

I hope it was worth it.

Altar

It's never been this dark before. The darkness has become my light.
I guess holiness is a road that wasn't cut out for me.

Times

I'd wait for you forever.
I'd wait for you even if I knew you wouldn't come back to me.

Tell me--who is the fool, and who is the wise man?

Life

I'm finally starting to tell my story, but it's not easy. It's quite painful.

Mirror, Mirror

What have I done? And Who have I become?
And Why do I catch glimspes of you in my eyes...you who I buried so long ago?

Questionable

You obviously don't understand what it's like to be torn between what you want and what you believe.

Stains

I hate how you can see regret coming your way.
And I hate how you never have any words to say.
And I hate how the night never really turns into day.

-ium

You're sitting right beside me, and I miss you.

Un-Belief

Maybe I just don't know anymore.

She Skips and Falls

She doesn't believe in fairy tales, but she believes in you.
She wrestles with doubt becuase of all that has happened to her.
She skips a meal every now and then.
She is in pieces; she is broken.
She didn't sleep for two months because of you.
She choked for five minutes after she got off the phone with you the last night you ever spoke to her.
She's missing a tennis shoe.
She mixmatched her earrings on purpose.
She's still holding your hand.
She's still carrying a lot, a lot more than she should.
She is thankful for everytime you allowed her to come over and breakdown on your couch.
She doesn't pray like she used to.
She still sits in Your presence, or at least she thinks she does.
She gave it all for you.

I gave it all for you.

Erase

Sometimes you have to start over to get to where you want to be.
This means getting rid of everything you've already built.
Everything.

Pre-Algebra

I need a new equation because things just aren't adding up.

Numb

It's been winter for almost two and half months now. Today was the first time I've woken up and it's actually been cold. Today was the first time I felt it.

Tell me, how does almost a whole winter go by and not even one chill deck my spine?

"You're breaking me, and
I'm not okay with this. The
last time this happened,
I ended up with
everything sprawled out on the
floor...I am only
going to say this
once so listen, 'if You choose
to break, break away'."

11/34

I hope it's sunny, and I hope it's summertime. I hope there's a nice breeze to catch your tears, and I hope there's a white cloud that guides you home 'til night. Then I need you to follow the fire by night and promise me you won't be mad at God.

"...As Strong As Death"

If we knew the true depths of love, we would be a different people.

What's the rush?

You'll see the next step when you need to take it.

How is it. . .

that someone can bring new hope into your life and at the same time make you second guess every decision you've ever made?

Lift Off

Schedule me a red-eye flight.
This heartache wants to last all night.

Salvation

Some of us are so far past saving that we've given up on anyone coming to rescue us.
Some of us just weren't born with a hero.

"Until we're rescued, we'll believe otherwise."

Dear Friend,

You still live in the same house, and it's quite sad that I drive by so many times in one week. It's on the way to everywhere--work, Wal-Mart, the bank, Chick-Fil-A, the lake and that stupid fun gas station we'd always stop at after school on Thursdays--everywhere. I drove by two months ago with a new friend of mine. I told her that one of my best friends used to live in that house, your house. I told her you didn't live there anymore--but what I meant was you still live in my heart and I desperately miss you. One day, I'll have the courage to walk up and knock on your door. And we'll be friends again.

You always told me it'd be that easy. . .

Pass the Times

Doubt is nothing new.
I still secretly like the color blue.
And when I dance to "Requiem", I remember you.