When Drowning Became The Only Way To Live

Part of me hopes that faith is blind; the other part of me hopes it's true. I gave up wrestling with you a long time ago, but you won't leave my doorstep. None of these secrets are safe inside my head, and I've given up on my heart. Crossing these train tracks will be the hardest thing I ever do, but I never belonged on the right side anyway. I'm a troublemaker, a whore, and a slave to these demons. But you invite me in, you ask me to stay, and you ask me to join you at the table of friendship. You share a meal with me, and we are in bondage forever. Like balloons floating in the open sky my secrets far outweigh the clarity of a sunny day. You take the secrets I have carried, and I am now left empty-handed. I am left with nothing. And this is how it should be.

"You invade me like
a volcano. With nowhere
to run, I fall down.
I've been waiting for
someone, someone like you to
save me. . .just in time."

We've Shared The Same Moments

It was a grand and unique love.
You really loved her.

Who am I kidding? You still love her.

"There will never be
another look I want so
much from you as the
look that will let me
know you are over her and
have forgotten her. "

So Deep, so deep

You really know how to cut a person deep, real deep like soul-baring wash me away use me up and recycle me only to be used again, and again, and again. I am sorry that I care so much about you, and that I poured so much of my life into you. And I am so sorry that I ever left your side. I thought you could fly, and I thought you'd be waiting for me when I returned. I hope you love the new friends you have, and I hope they love you. But they don't know you like I know you. You're messy, ugly, and flailing about not knowing where to look for guidance. This is who I know you to be. They know you as the prep school polo shirt wearing, tie-tying boy with a smile he only wears to suffice the pain inside never because he's really happy or joyful. I've seen you smile before, truly smile. And I've seen you cry; I've seen you completely lose it. Your soul was naked and bare. You were once broken. Tell me, who put the pieces back together? Because they're out of place, and the glue you used is starting to peel.

I'm the only one who sees this. I'm the only one who sees you. And I love you.

"When did I become
a stranger to you? Will I
ever see open arms
again? It's okay
to be angry. I just want
your friendship again."

Caught In The Wind

I don't know the first thing about being holy.
But I know the first thing about love; it's unconditional.
I've made a mess of this life, and I can't clean it up.
Help me.
Walk with me.
Hold me.



"Sit with me in my
pain and sorrow. Heal these wounds.
Get messy with me."

Skeptic

Just believe.
Sounds simple.
And it is.

Don't let yourself get in the way.

Boston

I think the only reason I like the taste of Michelob Ultra is because it was always on your lips.

"Because a statue
wouldn't do you justice. It'd
have to be colder.
A brick in the thick
of winter would carry your
name quite well, my love."

Longer Life

I'm sick.
I'm obsessed with you.
I'm over it.
I'm not going to call you ever again.
I'm on the phone with you again tonight.
I swore I'd never make-out with you in your backseat again.
Here we are your hand up my thigh in your backseat again.
Let's promise to never see each other again.
And tomorrow we'll be on the corner of Greene and Harden at 4 a.m. with our hands behind our backs and nothing to say. But you'll catch my eye at just the right moment, and I'll give you five more minutes.


Would it scare you if I told you that I live for those last five minutes?

Wishing Well

I kind of hope I fall to the end of the well in the final push of our fight. Who wants to walk the earth with a hypocrite like you?

Cannibal

Which hat do you want to wear today?
Your disguises are slowly but surely giving you away.

Time Stood Still

"If we pass each other
on the street, don't look me in the eye.
Because I gave up a long time ago."

Yellow Funeral

Give her a reason to live because she'd rather die.
Give her a reason to feel because she'd rather be numb.
Give her a reason to hope because she'd rather get by on cold cigarettes and despair.
Give her a reason to sit by the fire because she'd rather walk on ice.
Give her a reason to trust because she'd rather doubt and hold back the wind.
Give her a reason to breathe because suffocating is the norm in this broken town.
Give her a reason to swim because drowning is all she knows.



"She spoke his name too
soon. But that's just like Jenny,
never settling down."

You're Lovely...And Free

I think the way you laugh is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen or heard in my life. I wish I was surrounded by your joy all of the time.

You'll Never Know

You're like a rollercoaster, but I'll never know the full extent because I took that damn seatbelt off halfway through the ride just so you'd know what it looks like when someone breaks free and their whole life is at stake.

Uncovered

She's a mystery to you. But you'll be damned if you don't figure her out, even if it takes the rest of your life.

Scale

When a woman loses control it's like the finest red wine exploding from the local street corner fire hydrant, no one really wants to put it out because it's so fascinating to watch and eventually it starts sending water to places that have been dry for so long. Last night she flipped out on you, and you couldn't handle it. She spoke the truth, and you were scared she was going to leave you. She wants more. She's always wanted more. You're used to the mundane; she's always been free. You're holding her back, and you know it. Let her go, let her breathe, let her be. She was never yours to begin with.

"you can't cage a bird.
they always find a way to
fly. escape. live free."

Walk Away

Pretend (verb): To deceive; to allege or profess insincerely; to give a false appearance of.

I'll pretend I didn't hear your heart skip a beat when I said your name.
I'll pretend we didn't have a connection.
I'll pretend that I never wanted to kiss you under the stars that night.
I'll pretend that I don't see your face every morning when I wake up.
I'll pretend that you're not the only one who knows how to make me smile when all I want to do is cry.
And you can pretend there's someone else out there who can put up with your drunken antics and love you even more the next morning.
And you can pretend you don't know the sound of my voice.
And you can pretend that you don't see a freedom in my eyes that you're longing to dive into.
And you can pretend that you don't smile everytime you hear my laugh.
And you can pretend that I didn't give you a reason to believe that Love is alive.

I'll pretend I never met you, and you can pretend that you don't regret not stepping out in faith to take a chance with the only girl that could ever save you.