Whirlwind

'Beautiful' is a word I have heard fall from the lips of many men. 'Beautiful' is also a word I use to decribe destruction.

Oh, How They Sang For You

I looked out the window this morning. The bluebirds were singing. The notes they composed went hand in hand with the words you told me last night. They knew forever wouldn't last, and they knew all of your words meant nothing. I began to sing with them because I had come to know what they had known all along. They had been singing this song every morning for the past seven months while I'd brew french vanilla coffee and scramble eggs, but I wouldn't listen. I still don't want to.


"Regret never was a part of the plan.
But then again, I don't plan well."

100-Feet Plunge

I'm not one to sit back while an adventure goes on before me. That's why I couldn't stay away from you. I took a risk, but you weren't willing to jump with me. Because of this, I can not look at you the same. What happened to your strength and vulnerability? You talk a pretty tough talk, but your walk is as simple and wide as a farm drive. I guess the ones that came before me could have told me that; they're still pretty hung up on you anyway. I'll just sign up for the coveted 'The one that got away' superlative in your little black book.



"If I had the chance
to choose again, I would choose
you and let you go."

That Afternoon

A cold shoulder never looked so enticing. You turn away like it's a routine. How many times have you done this before?

You Wouldn't Believe

You know, in the Bible it says that the angels wonder why God gave man free will. I often wonder the same thing. I can only ask, "What were You thinking? What were You thinking when Eve ate that god-forsaken fruit?"

Sometimes, I swear I hear Him say, "I was thinking of you."

You Are Beautiful, But You Are Not Mine.

You've got something special about you, something really special. But you do not know this. You'll probably never know this. You'll go on in our conversation and not even five minutes into it, you'll smile. Please don't smile because I'm falling for you. It only kills me everytime, and I'm not sure I can take much more of losing my breath at ungodly hours.


"This never happened.
It was all a figment, and
it was all a fraud.
I will tell myself
that you don't exist because
it helps me live free."

The Calm Before The Storm

Your heart is ice.
Your soul is cold.
Your mind is frozen.
Your lips are breaking apart. You've finally felt something warm. You're on your knees fighting the dirt because you want the earth to feel what you feel. You can't seem to throw enough rocks, and you can't get a grip on your prep school t-shirt. Your eyes are darker than the night. You don't even remember what you were searching for.

You're breaking. And for the first time you're feeling what it's like to be human.


"Tell them I'm better.
And they don't have to worry.
These wounds are healing."

Blueberry Juice on a Sunday Dress

She said she couldn't believe you, and you said you couldn't hold her close.
She said there was nothing more to feel and that love had lost its way.
You said there was more to the sky than stars and lonely moons, but she didn't hear you.


"I can't do this anymore" are some of the stupidest words I have ever heard.

Skittles & Starbursts

I used to find coins underneath the couch cushions, and I'd never tell anyone unless they asked. And I used to believe that if I dug a hole, I'd reach China. I even started to one time but stopped when the dirt turned red and black because I thought that was a sign I was getting closer to Hell. I even thought Australia was connected to South Carolina and that one day we'd drive there as a family and see the kangaroos.

But I never thought I'd lose you.
I sat on your lap, and you'd hold me sometimes until I fell asleep.
"Where did he go? Why did he go? Was it painful? How bad did it hurt? Will he still remember me? Can he see me from where he is right now? Can I still talk to him? Will I ever see him again?" These are not questions a seven year-old should be asking her mother, but I asked anway. Because I wanted to know.

I still ask these questions and many more. I still won't smoke a cigarette because you told me not to. I still remember the flag she received because of your service to this country, and I still remember burying my head in my father's lap at your funeral. Visiting you meant a long drive in the car, a warm neck to hang around, and pictures to fill my scrapbook. Visiting you meant the world to me, and my life has not been the same since you were taken from us.

Junk

Tell me stories of long ago.
Tell me something new.
And then tell me over and over again.
Tell me they've forgotten me.
Tell me he'll never remember the secrets of my heart.
Tell me he gave up and moved on.
Tell me she'll come back around.
Tell me she's gone for good.
Tell me you're the one who's come to save me.
Tell me you know me.

Tell me everything's going to be alright, even if it's not. Just tell me.

"She gave up and flew
away into the sea. I
wish she would have stayed."

Chase Them

I wish you told me stories that weren't true because I believe everything you say. And it hurts to know you don't care about a life that I find to be so precious.

I Just Don't Know

Desperation and depravation.
There's a God-sized hole within this heart. It's getting deeper, wider, and longer.
It will never end, and it will never be full.

Tell me, how do the lost get found?

Your Taste Is Sweet

She doesn't know what to feel.
She doesn't know what to say.
She doesn't understand.
She can't look at you the same way she used to.
She can't do any of this because the truth is you don't know what to feel, you don't know what to say, you don't understand, and you don't look at her the same way you used to.



I promise you this won't last forever.
I will come back to you. But you must let me go.

Birds Fly Free

I trust you.
Please tell me I'm not making a big mistake.

Tell Me There's More

I've got my questions, and I've sure as hell got my answers.
I've still got more questions than answers.
I stood along the shore of Your ocean, and I asked You every question in the book.
You said, "There's not enough time, My child."
There's never enough time.


You offered me a cup, and I am still drinking.
This heart aches for healing, and though I may never know it, I won't stop pursuing it.

My Lies Became the Truth

I am not perfect, but I'll tell you I could be.
I am not perfect, but I wear the mask all too well.
I am not perfect, but I try to be.
I am not perfect, and he believed me.
I am not perfect, and yet you question me.
I am not perfect, and still you expect so much more.
I am not perfect, and you still thought I could save you.
I am not perfect, and yet you hold on to my broken promises.

I am not perfect. Why can't you accept this?