Marshmallows That Don't Melt

She sits by the fire and listens to the leaves crackle in the dust. She thinks of you and your tightly woven jeans. Two things she'll never forget: the way you taste on a hot summer night and the cologne that is engrained like a signature on all of your white button-up shirts. Two things she'd like to forget: you're eyes in the moonlight and the hood of your car. Two things written on her heart: your name and broken promises. All she wanted was a glimpse of the truth.

Tonight the man in the moon smokes his cigar as he watches over her. Too bad the man in the moon doesn't heal broken hearts.

A Bridge Made of Straw

I'm not really sure when it happened, but I can tell you somewhere along this road, I tripped and fell. This time it wasn't on purpose, and I wasn't in a drunken stupor. It was a nasty fall, much worse than the blow you took when you were seven and couldn't stay up on rollerskates. It was like every fall you've ever avoided and never wanted:

Uncontrolled
Foreseeable
Doubtful
Hard
Bloody
Unplanned
Dark
...and Lonely.

I would much rather have fallen off the jungle gym, but I got back up because I had found something worth fighting for.


Could we sit awhile?
I want to listen to you
and the quiet night.

Jump Rope

Sometimes it rains on your birthday.
It's nothing new or exciting, but it rains.
She's getting new glasses today.
But you think she's pretty anyways.
Your father only told you he was proud of you once.
And you remember that moment every morning when you wake up.
If your mother were here, she'd kiss you on the forehead while you read the morning newspaper.
She knew she'd never have the chance to see you graduate, but she kept that to herself.
Your brother loves you and looks up to you.
He thinks you're more than he'll ever amount to.
I wish you could see how special you are...And I hope one day to tell you.



To jump really high
would create chaos here now.
But that's what we need.

Cold Winds

During high school, I always dreaded the summer months because it meant school was out and so was responsibility. If there's anything I learned about alcohol, it's that it helps you forget, right? There are a select few that begin to recall exact moments after they have passed their limit. No one wants to be apart of this select few, and if someone is, he or she doesn't tell anyone. Yet for the majority, tequila helps tame the pain.

I never understood insomnia until I met you. I think you had every reason not to be able to sleep at night. You said that you often stayed up late at night so you could write, but you never wrote anything. You were always beginning a new script. You never had one done. You were always writing about a girl and how she had just broken the same guy's heart but each time it was in a different way. I didn't know a heart could be broken so many times.

This girl; her favorite color was red, and she had this contagious smile. She always wore pink lip gloss and a yellow bracelet. Never did she make anyone feel out of place or insecure. She was always dreaming and talking about the sky.

Why did you do this to yourself? Why didn't you just tell me the truth? I'm not saying that I could have changed things, but I know the reason you always drank until you passed out was so that you wouldn't have to think of me for hours before you fell asleep.

Understanding

Innate desires are just that, too innate for our own comprehension.

What You Said...

You always had a way of making me cry when I got off the phone with you. Your last words put a knot in my throat that not even Martha Stewart could tie. I thought you were made of more than cold stones and empty bottles.

Last night, I threw away the necklace you gave me. It was made of cheap tricks and lowercase thrills. I said a prayer for you and hoped that happiness would fill your heart because Lord knows you took all of mine. I don't think it's fair that you won the game, and I don't think it's right that you took the prize.

I know you're not over me, and I know you think of me in the autumn moonlight because slight chills aren't something you're used to. I was the best damn thing that ever happened to you, but losing you saved my life.

I thought.

I thought there'd be more to look forward to besides the dawning of a new day.
I thought I'd never disconnect with my childhood best friends.
I thought only good things happened to good people.
I thought you got what you wished for.
I thought what people wished for would always be good.
I thought I'd never have a reason to hate you.
I thought you cared.
I thought we'd be together forever.
I thought you knew better.
I thought I'd never have to see you again.
I thought it only rained when people died.
I thought I wouldn't be afraid.
I thought you would be different.


I thought wrong.

Merry-Go-Round

I think it's beautiful how the playground we used to play on was demolished just so new offices could go up for the working man. I saw traces of the see-saw Amy broke her arm on because she was trying to create a "balancing act". Metal was stuck in the new sidewalk that leads up the giant glass doors. Important people drink coffee in their offices behind these doors. That same metal scared Johnny's mom into thinking he'd have Hepatits C just for getting a cut on the back of his leg after going head first down the slide. I saw a basketball in the corner street trash can, and I thought the ketchup sliding down it would have made Danny Myer's kindegarten nose bleed look like it happened on purpose. It was an accident, and we all knew Brad Riley didn't mean to swing the bat in Danny's face. Kids don't pay attention; it's not their job.

But then things start to happen that make us pay attention, and we either get scared or we brand together with those around us and enter high school, college, and the real world. I think sometimes I forget to pay attention on purpose because then I won't remember you. The one thing that they didn't take away from the playground was the sand. It outlines the building in a perfect rectangle. I took some of the sand one day and put it in a paper bag. It's on my counter in a clear jar. When I see it, I think of you, and how you slipped right through my fingers. I realize there's nothing I can do to recreate what we had as children, but I will never stop wishing to find a way.

Simply Put and Simply Made

She makes crafts with her feeble hands, and she always puts a cherry on top. There aren't many ways to see the sun, but she always finds a new one. Today she'll walk by the old oak tree on Second Avenue for the last time, not because she's going to die or moving away but because she's found a new way.

Honesty has it's own policy.

And to say too much too soon would destroy the picture of who she thinks you are.
You can't ask her certain questions, and you can't answer questions she hasn't asked you.
There is a freedom in her eyes, and it's taking all you have to resist diving into them.

Kick the Curb

Maybe I'm a fool, or maybe I'm just sorry.
But either way I fell in love with you. And I just can't regret it.